A reflection in a step toward change.
Why did I do that? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Then, it’s quickly brushed off, only to find yourself in the same situation and that same query on repeat. And so the loop continues.
What if the next time you asked the question, you really asked; then took the time to answer it, to decide what’s next?
Perhaps, it was the way you spoke to someone; something that happened when you had a few drinks; or a conversation with a colleague; going back for another plate of food only to find yourself overly full, again; or eating a pack of chips when cooking dinner.
Why? It’s a big question. A confrontation. Not always having an easily identifiable answer. But when we look into the ‘why’ we can work to change or adapt a repeating action, to alter the outcome.
Being a nutrition and health coach, a lot of the ’whys’ I support people to uncover are around their eating habits. So I’ll use this as an example. Why are you eating at this time? Are you bored, tired, angry, stressed, hungry, low on energy? Or is it because it looks tasty and today you have considered that you want it, or need and are truly enjoying it?
Consider the why. Once you establish that, the real work begins if you need to make some adaptations, and if you are ready. A common, more simplistic, ‘why’ I have found is boredom and habit. Once you establish that, you can address it head on and adapt those habits. The biggest breakthrough moment is in noticing you are doing something without complete consciousness, purely going about a pattern that you have established over time. The cool thing is – you can re-draw the pattern.
Challenge yourself to change the pattern. Write down what you are doing currently, and what you’d rather do in its place. Leave sticky notes with reminders to yourself, talk to someone about your plan, ask for support, ensure you have a reminder of the ‘new you’ you are working towards.
Some ‘whys’ may be a simple adaptation, like a habit. Others may require a long period of work. From someone who once drank herself ‘happy’, having to ask myself ‘why?’ was not easy, and no overnight change resulted. You guessed it, the ‘why’ was that I wasn’t happy, so I had to work out what really made me feel good, without the alcohol, to make progress. But I also had to be ready to put the work in. So ask yourself how much you want to become the person who doesn’t repeat the pattern – what outcomes would you get if you were to re-draw it?
So what’s next?
- Identify what is not serving you well.
- The next time you undertake that action, if you can catch yourself before you do it, ask yourself ‘why’ you are doing it. If you didn’t catch yourself in time, but become aware afterwards, that’s okay, simply ask yourself the same question.
- Is it something you can change with a few minor actions? Or will it need further work, a more detailed roadmap?
- Write down the steps to make the necessary changes – what do you need to do to start moving in the direction you want?
- What may get in your way and how will you overcome the roadblocks? What can you have in place to divert around them?
- Who can support you with your first step, and those that follow?
- Take that first step, and when you succeed in that, try the next one.
- Take time to notice how it makes you feel, high five yourself on the small wins, every step in the right direction is worth recognition.
On paper, this can sound straightforward, but any change takes time, and a commitment to yourself.
Doing what I do, I have a strong understanding of nutrition and human behaviour, and I love witnessing people find, within themselves, the power to be exactly who they want to be.
Believe that you can do it, I do.
Rebecca Smith
Real Nutrition
Ref: The Transtheoretical Model. James O. Prochaska and Carlo C. DiClemente.
Words by Rebecca Smith
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