Where do you focus your attention?
How much of your thinking is about the past? Where you were, how good things were, or how bad they were … Most of us do this at some time or other. We remember. And rightly so. Our sense of self is partly defined by what we’ve experienced and how we felt about it. The challenge comes when we get locked into those thoughts and feelings; we don’t just remember what happened, we relive it! We feel those same feelings we felt one, five or 50 years ago. And that takes energy. It also distracts us from what’s happening ‘Right Now’. We act as if what did happen is still happening.
And how about the future? Are you often dreaming about how things could be, or will be when you’ve fixed the roof, or taken that holiday, or upgraded your phone? Maybe you play the ‘What if’ game. What if I went to Bali? What if I lost weight? What if things don’t get any better? These are all thoughts about the future, and they too lead to feelings. Maybe joy and excitement. Maybe fear and despair. But either way we’re burning energy and losing focus on ‘Right Now’.
And what does this lead to? It leads to us living in our heads, living with a picture of what was or what could be, neither of which are real. Of course memories and things that happened are real, you might say. Well, they were real, they did happen but they’re not happening right now, and if we get locked into reliving them, we’ll feel and act as if they are still happening right now. Not helpful!
And it’s the same with our thoughts about the future. Sure, it’s good to have dreams and plans; they can be motivating. But thinking of things that are going wrong or getting worse or not improving is demotivating; it can paralyse us mentally and lock us into inaction.
So what do we do to limit these consequences of getting stuck in the past or the future? The answer sounds simple: “Be here, now!” But how do we do that? Try these ideas:
- Notice what you’re thinking about: are you thinking about what’s happening and how things are right now, or are you thinking ‘last time this happened…’ or ‘I know where this is going’? If so, stop those thoughts and focus on the present; pay attention to what is actually happening right now.
- If you can’t get your mind to do that, try taking 4 or 5 deep breaths, and concentrating on the air moving in and out of your body. The 10 or 20 seconds it takes you to do this might be long enough to distract you from your past or future thoughts and get you back into the present.
- Stop thinking and look around you; notice what you can see or hear or touch. Find something to look at that is pleasant, a tree, a field, a pet. Something that helps you feel better. Then say, “Wow, that’s really nice.” Again, this can distract you from past or future thoughts and get you back into the present
The goal of these approaches is to help you be present to what is going on and respond to it appropriately. When you do this, you’ll make better decisions, find solutions more easily and get on better with the people around you.
This article is based (loosely) on Eckhart Tolle’s book: Practicing the Power of Now, Hachette, 2001.
And as always, if you want to talk about how this issue impacts on you, email me at daveb@potential.co.nz and let’s talk.
Words by Dave Burton
Coromind: Coromandel’s Collaborative Magazine
Help us take Coromind Magazine to new heights by becoming a member. Click here
Change the Weather for Your Business: Advertise with Us.
Advertise your business in the whole Hauraki Coromandel in the coolest Coromandel Art Magazine, from Waihi Beach/Paeroa /Thames up to the Great Barrier Island.
Advertise Smarter, Not Harder: Get in Touch
