From Youthful Beauty to Maternal Grace
My body has grown and birthed a human. My body will never be the same again. Even if I lose some of this weight, I will always have saggy skin, stretch marks and saggier boobs. Knowing this, I do sometimes miss my younger face and body.
My ‘fuller figure’ doesn’t bother my husband in the slightest. But the sore back, shoulders, knees and not being able to fit my older clothes doesn’t feel great. I know this is a reality for many mothers, especially us short stocky ones who find it hard to shift extra weight without getting obsessed about calories. But that doesn’t discredit the moments of insecurity I experience.
I miss my strong toned arms and legs. My shapely smile. My energy. I know I need to get more active, but it’s really hard on top of working 30 hours a week, given these shorter winter days. By the time I finish work, it’s getting dark and my brain is tired. I used to have what felt like limitless time and energy to hike, dive, swim and dance. It’s just a bit different, a bit harder, a bit slower for me to do these things now.
I’m not sharing this for advice, support or sympathy. I’m just showing some balance to all the fun beautiful sides of parenting. It’s too easy to share the highlight reels of cute babies and fun family times on social media. But that’s not the full picture. As a new mum, I find some days are harder than others … some days I just feel like Jabba the Hutt. And that is okay. At the end of the day, I know I can lose weight if I really put my mind to it. I know I’ll get back into my activities again. I want to be healthy and fit for my son and I will be. I just need to give myself time, drink more frigging water and be kind to myself.
I still have all my hair and teeth, and I have a beautiful healthy boy who is growing his, so I have many blessings to count.
Words by Elvisa Van Der Leden
